[Paddlewise] Whirlpools, Dastardly Thingys, and Other Debacles

   Since the topic of stupidity came up, I thought I'd mention a few of
   the outdoors debacles I've seen or done (I won't mention which). Since
   I've seen or done them, you should not have to follow suit.

   Arriving at the boat ramp with kayaks securely locked to the car, but gee
   whiz, no key to unlock said kayaks.

   Forgetting to close tailgate of truck before heading down the road, and
   ending up with truck full of dust and dirt.

   Forgetting to secure canopy to truck before heading down the road.

   Leaving trucks parked on gravel bar, launching kayaks, paddling down
   the river, returning to find gravel bar under two feet of water, wondering
   how was it possible for the tide to extend so far inland. Very puzzling.

   Dropping car keys into ocean while paddling, with no spare key. Best done
   in very remote areas.

   Parking vehicle on fairly steep boat ramp, and then setting the emergency
   brake so hard that it cannot be released.

   Launching aluminum fishing boat without replacing the drain plug.

   Pulling your kayak up the beach for the night, but not quite far enough.

   Failing to tie off your kayak at night with the bow line.

   Parking your kayak for the night in a Poisson Oak bush.

   Setting up tent for the night on beach just above high tide line, but
   miscalculating just where that line should be.

   Waking up in the middle of the night and thinking the surf is two inches
   from your face, only to find the surf is two inches from your face and
   closing.

   Waking up in the middle of the night with the distinct feeling that you
   are floating, only to realize that you actually are floating.

   Leaving your tent in the middle of a dark night, without a flashlight, to
   answer a call of nature, and then not being able to find your way back.

   Doing a raft trip down the Willamette River with four guys in a rental
   raft, no patch kit or pump, and sinking at the halfway point, miles from
   anywhere. And why do farm dogs have to be so large and vicious?

   Swimming in the surf down south, and discovering why you want to avoid
   rip tides and Portugese-Men-'O'-War.

   Going deep sea fishing in a 14-foot rowboat and attracting the attention
   of a 14-foot shark. (Best done while still in high school).

   Going trout fishing, leaving your large Golden Retriever in the car, which
   is parked on a sloped logging road, and not anticipating that the dog is
   capable of putting the car in neutral and releasing the emergency brake, but
   not too good at steering.

   Finally, there is camping for two weeks in the rain with no rain gear
   and no fly for the tent, using mostly cotton clothing, in the only level
   spot for miles around, which is covered with two inches of standing
   water because the damn rain won't stop.

   BRC
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