I probably owe Sandy and some others on this list an apology. I've been kind of grumpy lately about Paddlewise and people. So Sorry. Perhaps an explanation is in order -- it might help you understand some of the background context for recent comments and my concerns with Duane's trip reports, etc. Please take this at face value. I've put a lot of miles on my boat, many of them in harsh, rough conditions. It is a joy to be out on the ocean, living in the moment, free from the constraints of mundane life responsibilities and pragmatism. Out on the edge, far from the confines of modern civilization, my ego is swallowed up in the grandeur of the ocean realm and the intense numinous reality that invades my existential being and signifies my insignificance as a tiny speck of humanity floating in an eternity of space and time. While the effect is less intense, it is nevertheless real during quieter paddles. For me, this is one of the ultimate draws to paddling. Yet, within the kayaking community as a whole, man's pride, hubris, and his post-modern ego-spirituality seems to permeate everything, including Paddlewise. I don't like it anymore. And we all know how opinionated and full of self, sea kayakers can be. This displeasure with the situation has been welling up inside me for some time. The situation with Duane's posts just happened to be the one that pushed me over the edge. It isn't his fault. He is a great guy, and I only send him "light" and peace. I've enjoyed the adulation that sometimes comes from pat-on-the-back rejoiners, etc. But the more I get into paddling again this year and the more I mull things over as I attempt to mature, the more I want to move away from all that ego-baggage, hairy-chest-pounding. Hope that makes sense. I mentioned to the list I was going to back off a bit, and I got a ton of e-mail back-channel (mostly) saying the list would be boring, and people would miss all my great posts. This makes one want to run the other way...I'm not a great kayaker - just a big-mouth, opinionated ass -- though altruistically, I do want to share a bit of experience, wisdom, and some of the lessons I've learned from the sea. Jackie has always encouraged me to retain that view Duane said recently: "I did email the editor to ask him who are these reckless sea kayakers. I told him that I might want to do some crossings with them if they are from around here, because it is hard to find sea kayakers who have guts. What I was really saying was that he and 99% of sea kayakers are wimps." I'm NOT picking on Duane here. But his comments are a reflection of the state of kayaking these days. Big names, lots of egos at symposiums, people flashing around bits of paper certification, guys (mostly) challenging the ocean and telling stories about how they "conquered" it, and lots of "Me", "Me", "Me" in general. What IS a real kayaker anyway? Is a middle-aged, overweight housewife whose just taken up the sport and found something transcendent to domestic enslavement, not a "real" paddler? How many crossing do you have to make to be a "real" paddler? I certainly don't have the answer to these and many other questions about our sport as it evolves and a new generation of paddlers emerge. I know determination and pushing one's envelope of fear and experience has real rewards unknown to most, but is that what makes you a "real" paddler. Does having a big ego make you a real paddler -- though you may certainly be an awesome paddler and way above average in skills and undertakings? -- (I'm talking about the general paddling community here -- not pointing fingers at anyone in particular). In closing, I've had my own flurry of ego building off Paddlewise and other sources, but after you spend enough time on the water, or have a few things go sideways, or spend some time in serious reflection sitting on a beach so cold you wanted to die, there isn't much room for a big ego. I'm probably not making much sense here to the list. It is a bit of an ambiguous issue, anyway. But, I did want my friends and enemies on PW to at least understand some of the struggles I've been working through lately. I can only trust some of you had the grace and patience to bear with this post. If not, that is okay too. I harbor no disrespect or ill-will. You ladies and men are a fine community of helpful paddlers. I just want to take a bit more of the "I" out of it. At least "real" paddling can still do that. BC'in Ya Doug Lloyd ("Love thyself last" -W.S.) *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
Doug, "Numinous" is right on. I've spent much of my life in a kayak, seeking a simple, non-intellectual, tactile experience with the "non-man-made" environment. Perhaps I was seeking the comfort of re-immersion in my mother's (Earth's) womb, because I found comfort in the lakes, rivers, and woods when "life" was scraping rock bottom. Mostly, my attitude has been one of acquiescence. That's why I never embraced "conquest" aspects of "the sport" such as whitewater. Ironically, it's why, after all these years, I'm not the strong, skillful paddler you are. Everyone should and will paddle for her or his own reasons. But your post was a powerful reminder that the kayaker's ultimate quest, no matter how violent or challenging, is to experience the numinous reality of our world and find a perspective on our place in it. Rick *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
Doug Lloyd wrote: [Nail number 1:] > [snip] Out on the edge, far from the confines of modern > civilization, my ego is swallowed up in the grandeur of the ocean realm > and the intense numinous reality that invades my existential being and > signifies my insignificance as a tiny speck of humanity floating in an > eternity of space and time. While the effect is less intense, it is > nevertheless real during quieter paddles. For me, this is one of the > ultimate draws to paddling. [Nail number 2:] > Yet, within the kayaking community as a whole, man's pride, hubris, and > his post-modern ego-spirituality seems to permeate everything, including > Paddlewise. I don't like it anymore. And we all know how opinionated and > full of self, sea kayakers can be. This displeasure with the situation > has been welling up inside me for some time. Well, you have hit a couple nails on the head, here, Doug. I'm so isolated from the kayaking mainstream out here I did not have much of a clue about Nail number 2 until I went to the West Coast Sea Kayak Symposium this year. More on that below. But, Nail number 1 is the main reason I paddle, and I bet that's the case for most folks who do. Others derive satisfaction from aspects one might typify as having "competitive" traits. And, that's cool for them but irrelevant for most of the rest of us. Regarding Nail number 2, a story: I had heard of the Tsunami Rangers for years, read a lot of the stuff they have published, and even seen some video they produced. Cool guys/gals, and pushing the envelope, somewhat like Duane and Jim do. Very cool, and more power to 'em all. We all benefit from that: gear, techniques, attitudes, and more. So I was pretty pumped to be able to attend the slide show one of the Rangers was to present Saturday at the Symposium. Thought I'd see some great photos and maybe learn some stuff. Oh, man, what a disappointment. The main attribute of the guy's talk was: "Here's this cool, **secret** place go with our Ranger buddies, and we're not telling anybody else where it is, because we are so cool -- cooler than the rest or you insects." Now, I can handle some of that, and understand where is it needed to build group esprit, but it came into the guy's talk time and time again. It was a direct putdown of other paddlers and the way they paddle. I'll never go to another Tsunami Ranger talk again. That guy cooked it for me (I can't recall his name -- was not Soares -- he also talked but did a great job). So, Doug, don't let Nail number 2 grind you down, to mix my metaphors -- just focus on Nail number 1 and keep on pushing the envelope. It is good to have a little craziness up here on the Upper Left Edge of the North America, to counterbalance the like stuff on the Lower Right Edge. We need guys like you, especially during Presidential Election years ... -- Dave Kruger Astoria, OR (thinking I should have moved to Canada in 1972) *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
At 11/12/2000 01:50 AM -0800, Doug Lloyd wrote: It is a bit of an ambiguous issue, anyway. But, I did want my friends and enemies on PW to at least understand some of the struggles I've been working through lately. I can only trust some of you had the grace and patience to bear with this post. If not, that is okay too. I harbor no disrespect or ill-will. You ladies and men are a fine community of helpful paddlers. I just want to take a bit more of the "I" out of it. At least "real" paddling can still do that. BC'in Ya Doug Lloyd ("Love thyself last" -W.S.) Thanks Doug, the time spent reading was thought provoking and worth the journey. The sea is no respecter of person or a person's: Paddling Experience, Equipment, Financial Standing, .............. We all require the same basic elements for survival in this world to include relationships with others. "I" certainly agree that the more that we can put "I" aside the more we will be able to respond to the needs of those around us - to include this community of paddlers. I view life from a decidedly Christian perspective and quote a universal truth: "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13 I know that Doug, Duane and many others like myself that participate and/or read in amusement or awe the postings on PaddleWise enjoy and benefit from the dialogue, friendships and the community. Where else could we interact with other Paddlers in such a forum on a daily basis? I don't know if any. Below is an email that relates to Paddlewise and this discussion. This was sent a month ago to a church group of men (Promise Keepers) that I belong to: Subject: Alone This evening I went for a paddle out of Dana Point after starting my job search today. Dark - 68 degrees and a stiff breeze of 10 knots and three foot swells with one foot wind waves from the south and a beautiful crescent moon. As I headed back into Dana Point it was dark, but a faint glow showed the break wall distinctly silhouetted with hundreds of pelicans resting on its' top. I was alone in their world, just passing through. The wind was picking up as forecast creating swirls and ripples on the crest of the swells as the bow of my kayak broke free throwing spray over the deck. I thought of all of us going through life's daily storms and how much I appreciate the companionship of Saturday mornings and realizing that we are not really alone as we plunge head first into the next wave. Life can be like the sea: dark and ominous or full of wonder - our choice! We are Blessed ! We have the Lord, our Families and Our Friends. Fred Thomas *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
Yes , Kate...where do you stand on the important issues of skegs , rudders and chines?? <G> Welcome, and post a trip report ("Please"). ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ See our canoe tripping website http://communities.msn.com/RichWendysAwayFromHomePage ----- Original Message ----- From: "Richard Culpeper" <culpeper_at_tbaytel.net> To: "kate moran" <amantaka_at_yahoo.com> Cc: <PaddleWise_at_paddlewise.net> Sent: Monday, November 13, 2000 8:30 PM Subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Ego's > kate moran wrote: > --snip-- > > > I am new to this mailing list and have been lurking > > for awhile.... ...I am an inland paddler who simply loves > > exploring the Canadian Shield and the vastness of Lake > > Superior.... > > --snip-- > > Me thinks a lurker should pay a toll for crossing into the Paddlewise domain. > Surely this paddler of Superior and Shield must have a merry tale or two to > tell now that the boats are in their lofts and the long winter snows begin to > blow. So as the embers of the fire glow in our eyes, let us hush to hear her > story... > > Cheers, > Richard Culpeper > Thunder Bay *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
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