This newsletter is sent to customers of our local outfitter. I thought that others on the list would find the "tip section" to be of interest to kayak campers on this list. --- White Squall <info_at_whitesquall.com> wrote: > > Hello Out There > > We've been busy mopping and tidying up after our > Festival Weekend. What a wet, windy and wonderful > wormy weekend it was, so thanks to all who came, and > a huge thanks to all the presenters. > > We've got openings in this weekend's kayak lessons, > so if you are wondering about doing something > totally different and fun - give us a call at > 705-342-5324. > > There are a few spots left on our Flatwater > Instructor Course coming up June 13-15. This is > a national certification, also recognized by ORCKA, > and well suited to anyone 16 yrs and up who is > looking to polish their paddling resume. You don't > have to be an ace kayaker, it's all about learning > to teach and share with others your love of > paddling. Go to whitesquall,com to learn more, or > give us a call at 705-342-5324. > > Raccoons and Kayaks > The Raccoon has evolved! Researchers at the Cole > Lake Institute for Lower Learning report that the > Franklin Island coon (a distinct subspecies called > coonus smarterthanusus) has figured out how to pry > off just about any kayak hatch you can name. There > is no hope, all you can do is to listen to me -and > if that doesn't work, please send money anyway. > > > Tim's Multiple Coon Tips (yer gittin yer money's > worth this month, let me tell you) > > Tip #1 > Camp where there are no coons. This will require a > special "Coon Seeker" sold exclusively at White > Squall for $395. > > Tip #2 > Don't leave anything remotely smelly in cockpit/pfd > (that includes your stinky neoprene socks, though > why a coon would be interested in them is beyond me) > > Tip #3 > Where possible, use a bulkheaded area that has a > hardshell hatch. Strap and rope it down with > everything you've got, and top it off with pots and > pans so you can hear the B&E going down and arrest > them for unlawful entry. > > Tip #4 > Use hermetically sealed containers with combination > locks and as soon as you've memorized the combo, eat > the piece of paper so the coons can't read it > > Tip #5 > Consider donating to RWB (Raccoons Without Borders) > and they may cut you some slack > > Tip #6 > Hang your food. I know what you're thinking - > "trees? trees? there ain't no stinkin' trees!" > > Tip #7 > Okay, so don't hang your food! > > Tip #8 > Put your food in a designated kayak (preferably not > yours) and anchor it offshore. Take into account > the concept of swimming coons, rogue waves and > anchors that let go in the middle of the night. > > Tip #9 > Just bring beer and forget the food. > > Tip #10 > Purchase these ten tips printed on recycled paper > for $29.95 and we'll throw in a bear bell for no > extra charge. You can tie this on to a stick near > your campsite and ring it upon arrival. This will > notify the coons that you're here. > > Tip #11 > If you are still reading this, go get raided by > coons, it's not quite so bad. > > Peace Out...tim > --------------------------------------------------------------- Please limit all email attachments sent to this address to a maximum of 0.5MB. All email attachments that are larger then 0.5MB will automatically be deleted. --------------------------------------------------------------- ICQ: 262152266, AIM: GlamourpetsD, MSN: [my email address], Yahoo Messenger: glamourpets --------------------------------------------------------------- *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
Consider leaving out a plate of food laced with sleeping pills. Plan on packing up and shipping out before the raccoons wake up. Of course this strategy can backfire if one of your buddies gets to the food before the critters do. Brad Quoting Derek <glamourpets_at_yahoo.com>: > This newsletter is sent to customers of our local > outfitter. I thought that others on the list would > find the "tip section" to be of interest to kayak > campers on this list. > >> Raccoons and Kayaks >> The Raccoon has evolved! Researchers at the Cole >> Lake Institute for Lower Learning report that the >> Franklin Island coon (a distinct subspecies called >> coonus smarterthanusus) has figured out how to pry >> off just about any kayak hatch you can name. There >> is no hope, all you can do is to listen to me -and >> if that doesn't work, please send money anyway. >> >> >> Tim's Multiple Coon Tips (yer gittin yer money's >> worth this month, let me tell you) >> >> Tip #1 >> Camp where there are no coons. This will require a >> special "Coon Seeker" sold exclusively at White >> Squall for $395. >> >> Tip #2 >> Don't leave anything remotely smelly in cockpit/pfd >> (that includes your stinky neoprene socks, though >> why a coon would be interested in them is beyond me) >> >> Tip #3 >> Where possible, use a bulkheaded area that has a >> hardshell hatch. Strap and rope it down with >> everything you've got, and top it off with pots and >> pans so you can hear the B&E going down and arrest >> them for unlawful entry. >> >> Tip #4 >> Use hermetically sealed containers with combination >> locks and as soon as you've memorized the combo, eat >> the piece of paper so the coons can't read it >> >> Tip #5 >> Consider donating to RWB (Raccoons Without Borders) >> and they may cut you some slack >> >> Tip #6 >> Hang your food. I know what you're thinking - >> "trees? trees? there ain't no stinkin' trees!" >> >> Tip #7 >> Okay, so don't hang your food! >> >> Tip #8 >> Put your food in a designated kayak (preferably not >> yours) and anchor it offshore. Take into account >> the concept of swimming coons, rogue waves and >> anchors that let go in the middle of the night. >> >> Tip #9 >> Just bring beer and forget the food. >> >> Tip #10 >> Purchase these ten tips printed on recycled paper >> for $29.95 and we'll throw in a bear bell for no >> extra charge. You can tie this on to a stick near >> your campsite and ring it upon arrival. This will >> notify the coons that you're here. >> >> Tip #11 >> If you are still reading this, go get raided by >> coons, it's not quite so bad. >> >> Peace Out...tim *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
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